Watch yourself bleed to death in slow motion

We’ve said it many times, and chances are we will keep on telling you: Cyberpunk’s not dead, it’s just turned into our present. Almost every day, we find stuff that most Cyberpunk authors may have once described in their visions of our future. And in a lot of cases, this future turned out to be a lot weirder than any SF author could have guessed.

So here’s another fine selection of weird and often quite inventive Cyberpunk stuff, this time from the incredibly imaginative website thinkgeek.com

Personal Soundtrack T-Shirt

The definitive add-on for each and every poser gang member. Don’t be satisfied by just looking like Kirk or marching like Vader. Let others hear your personal soundtrack in each and every situation. Catch more information and a funny video of the many uses of this piece of tech here. Available NOW! for 39.99$

Labyrinth Security Lock

Ever thought that security stuff that just slows down intruders (like Cyberpunk 2020 player characters) is unrealistic? You ain’t seen nothing yet. Even in 2020, there are geeks lurking behind every corner. They may even work in the R&D department of your next megacorporate target. Geeks LOVE labyrinths and puzzles. As you can see for yourself with this titanium labyrinth security lock. Available NOW! for 49.99$

Youtube Tazer

Big Brother is here. And chances are, he will never leave. Especially if he is so much fun to have around. Like when you taze that ‘punk that tries to assault you and instantly upload the video of your successful hit to Youtube. Or your security provider. Or the cops. Imagine all the fun you and your fellow Cyberpunks can have with Fashion Guncam versions of this idea. Watch yourself bleed to death in slow motion. Maybe even to your own soundtrack (check out the Soundtrack T-Shirt, above). Available NOW! for 99.99$.

Wii Pee Game

No. It’s not real. You have not just discovered that there is a peeing game for the Wii console. Super Pii Pii brothers? Give me a break. Sorry pal. No rest for the wicket. The peeing game is here (yes, there is a video as well). Available NOW! fpr 34.99$. Peeing controller included.

Snooze and Lose

This one gets a bonus point for creativity in getting the wage slaves off their fat asses and earning the megacorp even more money. Originally, this alarm clock is intended to donate money every time you hit the snooze button to a charity organisation you HATE – giving you a great incentive to get up immediately, instead of snoozing on. By 2020, this gizmos are bound to be installed in every wageslaves appartment. Hit the snooze button, and your employer will receive a payback from your bank account. Hit the snooze button three times, and you may receive the ultimate wakeup call by that tazer they built into your corporate appartment’s bed. They may even share your tazed early morning self via that handy youtube tazer application, feeding the vid directly into the megacorporate employees network. The original SnūzNLūz is available HERE for 39.99$

Have Fun At Thinkgeek.com

There are a lot of other nifty things available there, like the deadly annoying Sonic Grenade, the easily upgraded USB Webcam Rocket Launcher, the highly useful 1.3 Megapixel Spy Camera Glasses, The dream of every Orion Battlelord (see SSDC page for Battlelord RPG info – Orions are aliens that wear kilts) Utility Kilt, the amazing Ultimate Hoody with built-in Personal Area Network, the very first in Urban Flash jewelry, the uber-cool Aurora Borealis Mood Projection Lamp (how could anyone ever live without it!), a f**cking lot of High-Tech watches from Video to WiFi Detection, a top-of-the-notch RFID Experimentation Kit, the TOTALLY innovative Driving LED Emoticon with which you can show other drivers smileys, the TeleSpy Intrusion Detector that gives you a call if it spots any movement in your home, a (soon) very useful RFID Blocking Wallet and the likewise very useful Hidden Camera Detector

Dark Future Cereals

  • new better-smelling grilly sugaries
  • iron-packed replicating celestios
  • simply real grainy greens
  • haptic-responsive shiny l00pz

are just some great ideas for Cereal-Brandnames this generator produces…

The sister of this generator is The Bullshit Job Title Generator who actually might be helpful to generate your NPC Corps business card. These examples

  • Legacy Group Developer
  • Customer Factors Developer
  • Dynamic Marketing Supervisor
  • Chief Communications Architect

don’t sound much weirder then Googles Chief Internet Evangelist, right?