Watch yourself bleed to death in slow motion

We’ve said it many times, and chances are we will keep on telling you: Cyberpunk’s not dead, it’s just turned into our present. Almost every day, we find stuff that most Cyberpunk authors may have once described in their visions of our future. And in a lot of cases, this future turned out to be a lot weirder than any SF author could have guessed.

So here’s another fine selection of weird and often quite inventive Cyberpunk stuff, this time from the incredibly imaginative website

Personal Soundtrack T-Shirt

The definitive add-on for each and every poser gang member. Don’t be satisfied by just looking like Kirk or marching like Vader. Let others hear your personal soundtrack in each and every situation. Catch more information and a funny video of the many uses of this piece of tech here. Available NOW! for 39.99$

Labyrinth Security Lock

Ever thought that security stuff that just slows down intruders (like Cyberpunk 2020 player characters) is unrealistic? You ain’t seen nothing yet. Even in 2020, there are geeks lurking behind every corner. They may even work in the R&D department of your next megacorporate target. Geeks LOVE labyrinths and puzzles. As you can see for yourself with this titanium labyrinth security lock. Available NOW! for 49.99$

Youtube Tazer

Big Brother is here. And chances are, he will never leave. Especially if he is so much fun to have around. Like when you taze that ‘punk that tries to assault you and instantly upload the video of your successful hit to Youtube. Or your security provider. Or the cops. Imagine all the fun you and your fellow Cyberpunks can have with Fashion Guncam versions of this idea. Watch yourself bleed to death in slow motion. Maybe even to your own soundtrack (check out the Soundtrack T-Shirt, above). Available NOW! for 99.99$.

Wii Pee Game

No. It’s not real. You have not just discovered that there is a peeing game for the Wii console. Super Pii Pii brothers? Give me a break. Sorry pal. No rest for the wicket. The peeing game is here (yes, there is a video as well). Available NOW! fpr 34.99$. Peeing controller included.

Snooze and Lose

This one gets a bonus point for creativity in getting the wage slaves off their fat asses and earning the megacorp even more money. Originally, this alarm clock is intended to donate money every time you hit the snooze button to a charity organisation you HATE – giving you a great incentive to get up immediately, instead of snoozing on. By 2020, this gizmos are bound to be installed in every wageslaves appartment. Hit the snooze button, and your employer will receive a payback from your bank account. Hit the snooze button three times, and you may receive the ultimate wakeup call by that tazer they built into your corporate appartment’s bed. They may even share your tazed early morning self via that handy youtube tazer application, feeding the vid directly into the megacorporate employees network. The original SnūzNLūz is available HERE for 39.99$

Have Fun At

There are a lot of other nifty things available there, like the deadly annoying Sonic Grenade, the easily upgraded USB Webcam Rocket Launcher, the highly useful 1.3 Megapixel Spy Camera Glasses, The dream of every Orion Battlelord (see SSDC page for Battlelord RPG info – Orions are aliens that wear kilts) Utility Kilt, the amazing Ultimate Hoody with built-in Personal Area Network, the very first in Urban Flash jewelry, the uber-cool Aurora Borealis Mood Projection Lamp (how could anyone ever live without it!), a f**cking lot of High-Tech watches from Video to WiFi Detection, a top-of-the-notch RFID Experimentation Kit, the TOTALLY innovative Driving LED Emoticon with which you can show other drivers smileys, the TeleSpy Intrusion Detector that gives you a call if it spots any movement in your home, a (soon) very useful RFID Blocking Wallet and the likewise very useful Hidden Camera Detector

Trends for Cyberpunk | Arranged Marriages

In ToC, we examine up-and-coming trends that just might have made into common western culture by 2020 and beyond. And this is what FOX thinks will be the Next Big Thing:

Because Mom Said So: Are Arranged Marriages the Next Big Trend?

“The best way to find your partner for life could very well be the oldest: the arranged marriage, according to one trend exper: ‘Today is the era of the arranged couple who fall into love around the birth of the first child,’ said Marian Salzman, co-author of “Next Now: Trends for the Future.”

“It sounds traditional, but in some ways so much of the future is back to the past, turbo-charged,” she said.

Arranged marriages have been part of many cultures for thousands of years, primarily born out of the desire and/or need for a financial, political or property-based partnership. As America expanded multi-culturally, this custom filtered through as certain ethnic groups sought to preserve cultural and class traditions.

But, contrary to the “old” arranged marriage, in which children are forbidden from choosing their own partners, the modern arranged marriage is not about being forced into federation. It’s about relying on the matchmaking mastery of Mom and Dad.

“This is about picking a marriage partner — not about falling into bed for a world-class romance,” said Salzman, whose trend forecasts are based on pattern recognition and what stylemakers are talking about. “There is a newfound interest in letting someone else solve the love dilemma,” she explained. “We’re on option overload, and we’re maxed out in terms of time, and we’d all love a partner. So it makes sense to enlist those who know us best to forge a proper and satisfying match.”

One such woman who has been happily hitched for 14 years — thanks to her folks’ marriage pick — is 38-year-old Tomoko Chibana. “I always knew my parents would find me a lovely gentleman, so I was able to concentrate very hard on my professional studies while at university*,” said Chibana, who was born in Japan and now lives in New York City with her husband and their three children.

*Now replace “parents” by “corporation” and you know where this might have evolved into by 2020…

I never had to waste time looking for love. After graduation I started working, got married and had a family.”

*Scarily effective from a mega-corporate point of view, indeed

Chibana believes that one of the primary misconceptions of arranged marriage is that just because it is a traditional concept, it must mean traditional male/female duties. “I am more than just a housewife,” she declared. “I am a career woman who has traveled the world and built my own fortune independent from my husband as well.”(…) Most experts believe arranged marriages will never be commonplace in America.
“We’re too individualistic, too much into personal freedom,” said Dr. Robert Epstein, a visiting psychology scholar at the University of California, San Diego, and host of the satellite radio program “Psyched!”

“On the other hand, I think the way we seek love will change, in part because of what we can learn from arranged marriages in other cultures. We leave love entirely to chance, but in many arranged marriages, people deliberately learn to love over time.”

So is it really possible that just by giving it a go, a solid relationship can grow out of an arrangement?

“There have been many arranged marriages that started out as being for the family, power, property and procreation, and love grew out of that bond,” Veshinski said. “It is believed that assisted marriage is about having others help to go through the stack of potential spouses to find those that meet the criteria for top-10 status, so that the potential bride or groom can have a smaller but more appropriate pool to choose from.”

Salzman said arranged marriage makes sense in a world in which the search for “the one” has disappointed so many people.

“I think of so many of my friends who married for lust or ‘true love,’ and most are now divorced, cheating or lost in therapy,” said Salzman. “Who knows what true love is? Thus we seek true partnership — and we rely upon others to help us pick suitable partners.”